so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
