My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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