Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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