I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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