Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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