He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
