once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
