My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
