I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
