I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
