Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
