It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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