u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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