areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
