Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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