It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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