Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
