Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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