Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
