Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
