I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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