Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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