Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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