I got chris browned last night
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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