The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
