I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
