she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
