Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
only you would photoshop your dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
