Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
