I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
