You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
