I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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