I wish I only lived at night.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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