Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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