I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
