Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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