His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
