as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
