Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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