My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
