So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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