I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
