i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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