We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
