Nicole vs. Life
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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