8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
