Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
