My room smells like vodka and shame
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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