I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
