Cold hands, warm shart.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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