Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
