Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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